And a time will come when we'll no more know what thing it is that binds us.
By slow degrees the word will fade from our memory.
Then, it will disappear altogether.
Margaritta Duras Hiroshima mon amour
I remember you.
In the mornings.
You.
In the afternoons.
At night.
Always you.
Aristophanes tells us that true love may only be found between fellow beings
and that is why he remits to mythology.
In the beginning there were men, women and a species called androgens.
These androgens were couples formed by two men, two women or a man and a woman.
At a certain moment they felt quite brave and went up to defy the gods.
Alas, they did not count on the cunning of Zeus
who sends Apollo to saw their wounds.
Apollo thus carves their chest, their belly and only leaves an orifice,
which is the naval, as a reminder of this imprudent act.
This is why Aristophanes says that man wanders all the time,
looking for that other half from which he was divided in the beginning,
and that when he finds that other half, he then finds true love and true happiness.
Jonas!
I have come to the world, how cold it is.
I can't find anything to blanket me.
Only your warmth can keep me from weeping.
Now I am
In my sky,
In my sky.
In my sky I shall be.
I wonder what will become of me.
I feel that I know you already.
I never imagined, being here
In your arms, there is no cold to be felt.
Now I am
In my sky,
In my sky.
In my sky I shall be.
In my sky,
In my sky.
In my sky there you are...
Let's go!
What went through your mind?
I don't know.
I'm afraid of it.
I promise to be.
I promise to be
The blue sky,
The lonely street...
They have now the opportunity of living an unbreakable love,
and perhaps they will have the opportunity of dying for it one day.
...The fresh April air.
I will protect you.
From half-living,
From feeling the dense
Fog of the end...
- Hi. - A beer.
Jonas can not stop crying.
He stands there for a long while staring at the place through which he disappeared.
He cries.
He wants to see him again, that is why he cries.
He doesn't know him, but he is sure that it is him
who he has been waiting for all along,
he saw him by chance and now he wants to see him again, at whatever cost.
Gerardo doesn't understand.
He remains a stranger to this story.
BROKEN SKY
Their bodies are in the same place. Wrapped up in themselves.
Sleep always comes first to Jonas,
he sleep well as the night makes him forget the life that he is leading with Gerardo
and that he wants to abandon.
Don't run away, don't run away from me.
You're afraid of falling in love with me.
I can make you feel alright.
Night to night, next to me.
You could have a thousand romances. Never being sincere.
I can make you feel alright.
Night to night, next to me.
I've got so much love to give.
Don't be afraid of falling in love.
Don't run away, don't run away from me.
Don't be afraid of falling in love.
Don't run away, don't run away from me.
You're afraid of falling in love with me.
With me. With me.
With me...
It was after that awakening when Gerardo became dead for Jonas.
He lost his eyes, his voice,
his closed eyes against his mouth, then his lips pressed against his,
also his hands, but most of all his closed eyes.
The others say that they are people that hide to penetrate each other together
and enjoy it without knowing each other, nor loving each other,
almost without seeing one another.
Those tears hurt Gerardo's body like celestial swords,
piercing his heart without leaving a trace, nothing,
only one certainty,
a scar that burns like an open wound:
He had ceased to exist in Jonas' life.
He would not exist there anymore.
Gerard turned towards Sergio
and looked at him with such a deep and intense attention that it impeded him from seeing him.
All of a sudden the idea of his existence took hold of his spirit.
He looked at him as if he loved him...
...It had started to happen.
When he arrives you will have waited for him.
With sweetness you will approach him.
Don't ask for an explanation.
Just offer him your heart.
For the love of him,
Let him know that you love him.
Give him the love that you can.
Everything will then change.
Once again quiet he will be.
You will ask yourself whether he loves you or not.
If there's nothing you can say.
Then only smile you must.
For the love of him,
Let him know that you love him.
Give him the love that you can.
Everything will then change.
If he left without saying a goodbye.
Don't reproach him for the sake of you both.
He does love you indeed.
Truly and very sincerely.
You need to show him your love.
And you will be able to turn away his fear.
And everything will change.
With time he will understand.
Come!
No, really, I can't.
Come!
My love, my love, my love. My love, my love, my love.
I want your eyes to look at me again.
My love, my love, my love. My love, my love, my love.
I want to kiss your red lips again.
How could I do not remember you?
How could I forget you?
If everything reminds me of you.
Everywhere, there you are.
If within a rose, there you are.
If within every breath, there you are.
How could I forget you?
If kissing the cross, there you are.
Saying a prayer, there you are.
How could I forget you?
If within a rose, there you are.
If within every breath, there you are.
How could I forget?
How could I forget?..
I promise to be.
I promise to be
The blue sky,
The lonely street,
The fresh April air.
I will protect you.
From half-living,
From feeling the dense.
Fog of the end...
I loved you since a long time ago.
Only then does Jonas find out about the existence of that other feeling.
A long time has passed before he becomes conscious of it.
All of a sudden everything changes around him.
And Jonas asks himself why.
He can't imagine any other love than the one Gerardo lived for him.
He can't bare it nor understand it.
The only thing left for them now is the possibility of living with the memory
of a single kiss,
a single word,
a single hug,
and a single glance in place of an entire love.
Wipe that frown off your face.
You'll see it was nothing.
Well, I don't know.
You think so?
Of course.
Stop it... Don't be silly!
Sergio!
Sergio held him against his chest
and told him that he loved him more than nothing in the world.
Gerardo turned towards him,
he looked at him for the first time
and told him that he believed him.
Me too!
So close,
So far.
Tragedies
Of a soul that is made to weep out of love.
Without your kisses...
A long time after, Jonas called him.
It's me, he told him.
Gerardo recognized his voice.
Jonas told him:
I only wanted to hear your voice.
It's me.
They kept silent.
Jonas told him that every day, without exception, without even trying,
his image came back to him.
His voice was trembling.
Gerardo remembered that voice and felt sorrow.
After that they didn't know what to tell each other.
And after that Jonas told him.
He told him that he regretted it,
that he still loved him,
that he would never be able to stop loving him,
that he would love him until the day he died.
Jonas then heard Gerardo weeping on the telephone.
He cried too.
Gerardo layed on the bed,
he kept on crying,
remembering him and remembering the oblivion of love itself.
Remembering the horror of oblivion.
And you won't know.
And I will lose my mind this way.
So close,
So far.
So close,
So far.
This is the result of all this time that I wanted to tell you that
I loved you, scream
That is all.
December 2005.